yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
he was CRYING into my vagina
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
