on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize