you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize