if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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