he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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