It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
The adults are the big ones right?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize