If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize