Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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