i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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