We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
