how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He shit in the fireplace
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