i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
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