I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Randomize
