best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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