I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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