So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
