This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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