hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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