Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
