You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
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