The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
