Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
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