I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
