Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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