I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
