I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
