Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
My friends, they love my intelligence
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
