It's Friday. Sex?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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