I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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