Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
