at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize