she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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