Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
