JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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