Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
