Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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