lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
