Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
