At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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