I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
There was a lot of him and a little penis
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize