If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
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My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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