dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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