Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
