I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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