Tell her she can't have a vagina
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
