You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
