Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
