The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
