i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You made out with two different species that night
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
