GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Randomize
