Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
