wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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