Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
