I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
