Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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