oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize