dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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