Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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